


Safe in your arms again

by mooseintheocean



Series: All the Wincest in my head [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 13x13 coda, M/M, Panic Attack, spoilers to 13x13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 02:49:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooseintheocean/pseuds/mooseintheocean
Summary: Coda to 13x13, set after the last scene in the bunker.Sam can't believe Lucifer is back, luckily his brother is there to help him.





	Safe in your arms again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Magdalena5880](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magdalena5880/gifts), [SammysMom63](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SammysMom63/gifts).



> A gift for my lovely friends. They said the boys should definitely kiss at some point, so I made them kiss. :)

"Alright, I'm going to get some beer. Anyone wants some?," Sam asks standing up slowly. Donatello was making progress but there was still a long way before he deciphers all the ingredients needed for the spell. The beer was really just an excuse to leave the room for a while. Between Cas being back and them looking for sister Jo and Lucifer, he didn't really have time to process what happened exactly. And Sam can't believe it happened _again_. Lucifer was topside once more after they thought he was dealt with. Sam's recent talk with Rowena felt good, he hadn't really talked about it to anyone, about what happened with Lucifer in the cage, what exactly did he imagined Lucifer doing to him in his hallucinations, that every single time they met after that felt like being back in the cage terrified with crippling fear. He always pushed through it though. He played his role because he had to, for himself, his friends, the world. For _his_ world - Dean. And Dean helped immensely by being there right next to him for the most part. And even if Sam isn't the little Sammy anymore, the kid who believed that nothing bad will happen to him because his big brother is there to protect him, he still feels safer when Dean is around. Dean keeps him going and Sam makes himself move because he has to protect Dean too. He thought Lucifer is going to kill them both in that motel room today and if Dean dies on him again, Sam doesn't think he will be able to go on. Not this time, not anymore. 

He shuffles to the kitchen and he realizes he doesn't even know if anyone wanted a beer, isn't even aware if anyone replied to him. He's standing next to the open fridge, the cold air cooling his face helping him focus back on here and now again. He closes his eyes, tries to calm his racing heart. Lucifer is _back_. Lucifer is back and he has his mojo back. At least some of it. He's back and he has a helper and Sam has memories of years upon years of Lucifer abusing him. He breaths in, counts to six and breaths out. Everything will be okay, it has to be. He has Dean, they have Cas, hell, they even have Ketch if they need him. Donatello will help them get mom and Jack back. They can fight Lucifer together, they did it before, they will do it again. Yeah, everything will be just fine. 

Sam jumps a little when a warm hand touches his on the fridge door handle. Only now he registers the cold hard metal of the handle and how it cuts into his hand. It actually hurts a little and when that warm hand pries his fingers off the handle softly he sees the white imprint of it in his palm. _Breath, Sam_. Sam lets out a long sigh and turns around straight into Dean's waiting arms. He buries his face in his most favorite place ever - Dean's neck - and breaths in. The unique smell of Dean, the smell he always associated with the sense of home and belonging and love was the only thing that was able to calm Sam down anytime without the exception. Dean puts one of his arms around Sam's waist squeezing him tightly and the other into his hair, bringing his brother even closer. He kisses the side of Sam's head, rocking them gently from side to side while Sam tries to calm down. 

"I wanted to ask if you're okay, but that seems a bit redundant now," Dean whispers into Sam's ear. It earns him a small sad chuckle, that he feels more in the puff of warm air on his neck than actually hears.

"I am so far away from okay, Dean," Dean instinctively hugs Sam tighter. 

"You know we will get it done, right? We always do."

"I know, I just... When Cas said that... That _he_ 's back I didn't want to believe it but then there he was, in a flesh and with powers. And I- I don't know. I feel like I've been underwater ever since we've heard he's back."

"Sammy, listen... I know this is hard for you, I don't know half the things that happen between the two of you, but what I do know... Well, that's awful enough. But I also know that if there's anyone who can get through this it's you. You are the strongest person I know. Even dad wasn't as strong as you, nor is mom. You've been down lately and I worry so much about you all the time, but I also know that we have a real shot at saving mom and Jack and with Jack on our side we can lock Lucifer away for good or better yet, kill him. We can do this, we know stuff now that we didn't know before. And you are not alone. I am here for you, always. Okay? And I am not letting anyone or anything hurt you again".

Sam nods vigorously, his cold nose tickling Dean's neck, he is still holding Dean's flannel for dear life. Of course he knows Dean is there for him. He knows that with the good plan they can kill Lucifer. He _knows_ but the thing about fear is, it’s hardly ever rational. 

"I know," Sam stands up straight, looking into Dean's eyes, "I know. It's just all so terrifying right now."

"Let's get you to bed, okay?", says Dean and without waiting for the answer he takes Sam's hand leads him to his bedroom, "You will sleep it off and we can make plans tomorrow."

"I don't think I'll be able to sleep now. Maybe I should get back and help you guys".

"Oh, I don't think so, buddy. We are taking a shower and we are going to bed and I'm gonna help you fall asleep".

They make it to the shower room after quick detour to their room for sleep pants. Dean helps Sam out of his clothes even if he doesn't have to, but Sam knows this is Dean dealing with whatever is wrong with Sam, taking care of him anyway he can. Hot water feels amazing on Sam’s skin and Dean’s hands washing his hair feel incredible. Sam sighs, turning his face to the shower head and leaning his back on Dean’s broad chest. Dean keeps kissing his neck and shoulders, murmuring comforting nothings into his skin. After a while Sam turns around and pins Dean to the wall, kissing him hot and deep. Their hips start moving against each other of their own accord, water and soap smoothing the way. 

After they are done and the evidence of their love making is washed away they step out of the shower in comfortable silence, passing the towels and sleep pants around. They shuffle to their bedroom quietly and if their companions wonder where they disappeared to, they don’t care enough to come looking for them. Sam feels calmer, like he finally got out of that water and he can breath again. The fear is still there, shimmering under a cover of _Dean is here, everything is going to be okay,_ but as they make themselves comfortable in their bed laying side by side facing each other, Sam knows he will fall asleep soon. He will probably end up dreaming about cage again but that's okay, because when the nightmare wakes him up, he will be safe in his brother’s arms and still be able to breath.


End file.
